Peace

⁶"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6 & 7.

Peace is a great feeling. I've been learning this. I've been learning how to ask for it in times of trouble. But most importantly i've been learning where to find it.

This summer has been...crazy, not my favorite, and just like a boat tossing around on unrelenting waters during a storm, had its moments where i was sure my "ship" would sink. Things happen. They always do. It's not what we plan. And when they do...we dont always stay positive...(if you do, well props to you) The Bible says there's a time for everything.

¹ For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
² A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
³ A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
⁴ A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
⁵ A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
⁶ A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
⁷ A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
⁸ A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

I can say i've experienced a time of each other these this summer (well except for the being born, and dying part). Look at what the last word in the last verse is. Peace. There is a time for peace. After the storm, and yes even during the storm.
I've had several moments this summer though, where i have had peace when i shouldnt've. Things were crazy, i felt lost and confused. but yet, i had peace. This is peace that passes all understanding. This is the peace God gives. All we have to do is ask Him for it. Everytime i've needed peace and asked Him, He's given it to me. There isnt a time i can recall when He hasnt left that prayer unanswered. He wants us to be peaceful and to trust Him.
Right now, Jesus is working in me. This whole summer He's been working in me. Changing me, making me into who He wants me to be. It's a hard process. It really is. It breaks me. But as im broken thats when i can be healed. Thats when i can be molded. Thats when i can become who He wants me to be. This is all i really want. I want to be what He wants me to be.
He has given me peace. Peace to let go and to trust Him to guide me. I dont know where im going and i cant see because this path is dark, but He lights my path with His word and leads me. He will not let me down.

Reign on Me.

Waking up in the morning to darkness with the highly probable chance of rain is always quite enjoyable-and cozy. Little did i know, this was a going to be a very wet day, in so many ways.

First it started with, like i said-waking up, expectancy filling the air for the first fall of early spring rain. Usually Monday's are very lazy, unproductive days for me as my day off from work. Not this Monday, i got busy with working on a project someone from church asked me to do. Next i had a few errands to run, a few things to pick up here and there. The whole time while im "out on the town" its raining steadily. I usually bring along my iPod to listen to in my car, since i dont have a cd player, and its more convenient anyway. Well, i got home, unplug my iPod and put it in my back pocket, fill my hands with my shopping bags, and head inside. My pants are really soaked on the bottom from walking through puddled parking lots. If there's one thing i CANNOT stand, it's wet jeans. Right away, i take them off, take out my cell phone and chapstick that were in the front pocket, and throw them into the laundry.
A few hours later, im working on packing for an upcoming ski trip and decide since it's taking me so long to pack, i might as well listen to music. My iPod is sitting on my dresser. I noticed on the screen that theres a strange looking spot. I tried to turn it on and realized...uh...something was wrong with it. Ive had it many years, so i figured the battery must've gone Kapoot on it. My mom was in the other room and heard me saying that my iPod wasnt working. She then told me it had been washed, and she found it in the bottom of the washing machine. I realized then that i failed to take it out of my pocket. I was very sad, and still am...but it also taught me a few lessons-dont put expensive things in your pocket for many reasons, and getting washed isnt always a bad thing.

Like anyone else, ha, probably MORE than anyone else, i make those mistakes, have those thoughts of doubt, fear, question. I cant explain all of the situations. But the sudden, and almost simultaneous outcomes, were relieving. I went in my room, to spend time alone with my God and to thank Him. As i began to thank Him, an overwhelming, overpowering feeling came all over me-Thanksgiving. I was so overwhelmed by how good God is and what He's done for me. But why? Why should i have been overwhelmed? This is THE GOD who is capable of moving mountains, healing the sick, creating the world, and so many other powerful things. He is capable. He is more than able. Shouldnt i expect this of Him? Why was i surprised He'd done such great acts in my life?

Suddenly i heard hard rain falling outside against my windows. The torrents of rain that were washing over the city, were a symbol of God washing me. Washing me with His joy, his forgiveness, His mercy, and most of all His unconditional love. What did i do to deserve THAT-His love? Absolutely nothing. I could go on with so many scripture verses about His love.
I cant even begin to express how i felt Him cleanse my soul, wash me in his blood, washing my burdens away.

We may give up on God, but He never gives up on us. This is the God i serve, faithful, true, merciful, and loving. He'd never given up on me, taken an eye off me for a second, or quit loving me because of my human ways.

So the city got washed, my jeans got washed, my iPod got washed, my soul got washed.
In the end, my iPod might've got washed and ruined, but i was washed and repaired.
This was the day i've got rained on bigtime in more ways than one.

Keep Reigning on me, Jesus.

Kansas State Fair, September 18th, 2009